One thing I want say now is autism acceptance month:
Autistic people be abuse many time. Is BAD. Is happen me too.
Red flags of how notice abuse:
Say one thing, but DO OTHER THING.
Autistic people say thing, mean thing. Not like lie. Many autistic people hear other people, think: They not lie. Many autistic people trust other people word. But some people LIE (even some autistic people). Look at what they do. If is different from what they say, then is problem.
Abuser: "I care about you" But make you do all work??? But not like you when you be you??? But be mean??? But make you feel bad??? Make you go meltdown or trigger on purpose????
Only they feeling and need and wish be important, not yours.
Again, people lie and say "You same important as me" but look at what DO. You have feeling? Wish? Need? And what they do? They find reason to ignore? They find reason say you bad? They derail, make be about they they they???
Admit they be abusive in past. Uh oh!!!!
Say "other people accuse me be abusive but they lie"
Ok CAN be true... but is red flag!!!! Pay attention pattern, see other flag? Not feel safe? Then GO AWAY. They not be owed you be friend. You be feel safe!
False promises.
They say they be better. They be better ONE TIME or maybe 2 week. Then be bad again. Or be bad in other way than before. Then blame you, you not explain proper. They be bad, not you!!!
Neglect. They be family, be spouse, be friend? That promise be help you when need!!! Then you need help, they not be help??? Is BAD.
Exploitation. They be accept you help them, then not help you same way? BAD. They be say "we mutual aid!" but not DO same as you? BAD.
They help when first meet, make you trust them. Then find out, you always keep promise, you always trie help - they stop be help. They start be lie. They let you do work, them not work. That how they do!
Other people warn you of person. Other people say "that person lie to you" or "that person not good for you" Sometimes is true. You pay attention, you figure out who lie.
Isolation. Abuser ISOLATE YOU from real friends!!! Is DANGER. Is sometime just be forbid see friend, say you not allowed. Adult do this to kids. is BAD. Sometime partner do and say "You make me jealous" But you allowed FRIENDS!!!!!
Sometimes abuser is be sneaky!!!! Most time abuser is be sneaky! Is lie! Maybe not say "I forbid" but say "I not like :s" and say "please feel sorry for me". or maybe abuser sabotage. Make problem happen, make crisis happen when want see friend.
Escalation. Is person have problem? Is crisis? Is argument? Is trigger? Then what person do - person make worse? When you calm person down, when you make solution be happen, when you say how make thing better – do person listen? Or do person ignore? Or make new problem? Or get mad at you for be make thing better????
Person want problem be solve or want you be spun around, be feel bad, be stressed out, be have solve problem but not get to end of it??? Is pattern, see, look, can find pattern? Some abuser want you be spun around all time and not want problem be solve.
Order you around. Is person try tell you how do thing? How be? Try tell you "you this, you that" and you not agree? But person not listen you, person be sure only they know? BAD.
Look at PATTERN. Abuse is be PATTERN. If can: use autistic brain see pattern?
See friend pattern, too!
Find good friend, family that way!
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